You Are Weak

 2 I perceive that ye are weak, that ye cannot understand all my words which I am commanded of the Father to speak unto you at this time.

3 Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again. (3 Nephi 17)

I am thankful for the fact that the Lord knows when we are weak. I’m thankful that he’s not afraid to call a spade a spade and tell us that we are weak. He knows when our understanding is lacking and he gives us the time and space to ponder what he has already given us and to go directly to the Father, in his name, for increased understanding. He is patient with us. He gives us what is possible for us to make sense of without completely overwhelming us (even though it can feel completely overwhelming). He doesn’t dump every bit of information on us. He lovingly withholds. He gives us time to closely examine what is right before us for the sole purpose of having us prepare to receive more. I love that the Lord ends these verses by telling the people of his intention to come back—that there is more to be had from him if we are diligent in receiving what we have already been given. 

 

To Those Who Are Struggling

This little blog page of mine is so obscure that sometimes I wonder if it is worth my time to write anything on it. I feel very inadequate when I try to express myself in writing, and I wonder if the reader gets even the slightest glimpse of what is in my heart.

I hope that this post (or at least the ideas in it) finds its way to anyone who might benefit from it. A couple of mornings ago, I felt that many people would benefit and the subject has rested on my mind since then.

Let’s start with a scripture. :)

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall. (Helaman 5:12)

Has the devil sent forth winds in your life? Are you taking a beating from shafts in the whirlwind, hail, and storm? Does your life feel like a “gulf of misery and endless wo?” 

Two mornings ago, I was overwhelmed by a realization of the degree to which so many people do not have Christ as their foundation. We like to think that we do, but life has a way of revealing to us, at different times, just how much we don’t. We encounter circumstances that beat upon the beliefs that we hold, and our belief in Christ and his truths are not exempt from this beating, though they should withstand it. When we are faced with the realization that our supposed belief in Christ is not as strong as we thought, or not as based in truth as we thought, we can find ourselves in a terrifying and hopeless position. In the future, the situations that reveal these deficiencies will become increasingly more frequent and more revealing.

I empathize with those who arrive at this point. I have been there. I have had experiences that have called into question many beliefs that I thought could not be shaken. Those experiences are not what I would call “fun” to be sure. They can tear your sanity to shreds. They will try to convince you that God doesn’t exist, or that he doesn’t care, or that it is beyond his power to help you. They can make you believe that there is no value to this reality. They can make you believe that your daring to hope for something better won’t bring about the improved results you so desperately desire. They can bring you to the precipice of utter despair if you don’t have the tools to hold you back from going over the edge. 

It isn’t a coincidence that Helaman tells his sons to “remember” twice. It can be a difficult thing to come to your senses and realize that God has given you tools. If you are in a situation like this, or if you ever find yourself in a situation like this, I hope that you are still able to sense that the conflict within you is a result of God calling to you. It won’t feel like that. Other voices will try to drown out that call. God’s voice will feel almost imperceptible compared to those other voices. But it is his voice, and he is calling you to believe in Him. He is calling you to believe in his character, which is a sure foundation.

When I was growing up, I was taught to pray to a certain person, and for most of my life my conceptualization of God served me very well—until it didn’t. And when I hit that point, I didn’t know what to believe about him anymore. When my heart cried out to him, I didn’t even know how to address him.

What got me out of that space was the decision to believe that if there was chaos, there had to be order—somewhere. If there was someone that wanted me to believe in despair, there was someone who wanted me to have hope. And, remember, I no longer felt like I knew who that person was, but I believed that he existed, and that was enough.

In my prayers, I would say, “I believe in a God who loves me. I believe in a God who always has my best interest at heart and won’t betray me. I believe in a God of truth. I believe in a God of mercy. I believe in a God who is just. I believe in a God who wants me to be happy and who can show me how to obtain that. And whoever that God is, that is who I am praying to.”

Having a sure foundation in Christ means that you believe in, come to know about, and incorporate within yourself enough of his character that when life throws everything at you and then some, you cannot fall. You cannot fall because you rely on God’s strength, wisdom, and love. Nothing in this world is stronger than that.

I know that when you are in that hopeless space, believing these things is not something that comes easily. It is a conscious decision based on what can be the most imperceptible of evidences. You have to listen to that quiet voice that is calling to you and focus all of your efforts on heeding that call and nothing else. It will take all of your might, mind, and strength.

Little by little, your struggle to hold on to that call will result in an increase in your strength. His grip is like iron. We are the ones that let go. Don’t let go. Don’t get ripped from that foundation. Anchor yourself in it. Trust it. If you feel like you are slipping or giving way, ask him what you need to change about your beliefs to make you stronger. He will tell you. That is who he is and what he does. His character is the foundation that prevents you from being toppled over or carried away and, if you heed what he tells you, you will be able to build your character into something that will be able to withstand anything and everything the devil can throw at you. 

Tapestry

Last night, after Thanksgiving dinner, the adults in my husband’s extended family were asked to mention something that they were grateful for. We went around the room, more or less, and I ended up being the last to take a turn.

Being last gave me the opportunity to try and think about what I would say while others took their turns, but I couldn’t think of one, single thing to mention. What I mean is that any single thing I thought to mention felt like it would be at the exclusion of everything else. I was, literally, unable to see my entire life as anything but this beautiful tapestry that God has put his hand to and the thought of mentioning just one thing (or even a few things) was like expressing my gratitude for a single thread. It failed to convey the relationship that thread has to every other thread, which is what makes the tapestry beautiful to begin with. It failed to convey the gratitude that I felt in my heart for every aspect of my life—for the things that God has caused me to experience in the past, for the circumstances that he has me in presently, and for the opportunities and promises that he has for me in the future. Many people would not regard the things in each of those categories as blessings, either. There have been, are, and will be things that most people would not appreciate or see the value in, but I do, and each thing is a testament to me of God’s love for me and for all of his creations. 

Puzzles and Persuasion

I love puzzles—any kind of puzzle—and I wonder sometimes if that is just a quirky thing about me or if that is something innate in every person to varying degrees. Do other people have this insatiable need to intentionally take on problems to solve? I mean, seriously! Take jigsaw puzzles for example. Who honestly thinks that dumping out a thousand-piece problem to solve is the launch point for a really good time?

There are few things that I find more satisfying than tackling something that is completely unorganized, disarrayed, and perhaps even completely unknown and ordering it into something that is whole, beautiful, beneficial, and available. This is why I love studying the gospel. This is why I love discovering truth.

Completing a puzzle is a process. It begins by framing the puzzle with what is already known (or is easily known) to you. You look for the pieces with corners and straight edges. Then you move on to parts of the puzzle that are easily placed because their context is easily discovered. The more you familiarize yourself with each puzzle piece, you start to notice both similarities and differences, and each can be subtle or glaringly obvious. Individual sections of the puzzle might come together easily, but might remain unattached to the frame until you realize that the one puzzle piece that you overlooked a hundred times is the missing link and it instantly pulls the section into the whole. Many pieces will look like they are the “perfect fit” for another and it’s a long process of trial and error to rule out all of the imposters before you finally find the correct one. Other times, you will get on a roll, making connection after connection, and the pieces, almost literally, fall into place. As the puzzle progresses, it emphasizes what is missing without even trying. And when it is finally done, there is a peaceful satisfaction and enjoyment that comes with seeing the outcome and understanding the process that got you there.

What I recently came to realize is that puzzles are an exercise in persuasion. Puzzles are solved as quickly as the person putting the puzzle together notices the information inherent in the pieces of the puzzle and as quickly as he is willing to be persuaded by that information. Each puzzle piece tells you where it is supposed to go, but, to begin with, the solver is not attuned to what the puzzle piece is communicating. It takes deliberate, thoughtful, and focused consideration of each puzzle piece, as well as the ability to zoom out and mentally place each piece within the context of the whole. But, even when you notice the information that each piece provides, if you aren’t willing to be persuaded by that information and act on it, you won’t start to make enough connections for the puzzle to actually come together. The more willing you are to be persuaded by and act upon the information, the faster the puzzle comes together. 

Persuasion happens at different speeds based on the willingness of a person to be persuaded.

Personal experience leads me to believe that this is exactly how revelation works. 

Some revelation comes slowly because we are not familiar enough with the information itself or the information surrounding it. It’s there, right in front of us, but we either don’t recognize it or we don’t understand how to put it into context. We have to carefully notice things that are right before us and develop a familiarity with them that increases our awareness of how they relate to each other. This can take a lot of time if we either fail to notice the information or fail to attempt to act on the information we do notice. Sometimes the only way to tell if a piece of information is correct and “fits” is to just try it out.

As we gain more and more information and act on it, the process of assimilating that information becomes faster and this happens on both micro and macro levels. On the micro level, what starts as a long study of each individual piece of information morphs into very quick realizations of where each piece fits. You notice yourself saying, “Oh, this goes here! And, then, that goes there!”  And on the macro level, as entire sections of seemingly unrelated subjects coalesce, in one satisfying moment of intellectual triumph, the one missing piece of information to link that section to the whole is found.

My favorite kind of revelation happens when I am willing to be completely persuaded by all of the information available to me. I wish that I could say that this kind of revelation happens more often than it does. However, when it does, a huge volume of information is brought to my attention and is immediately, instantaneously, and perfectly put together in my mind. I think that this is what the scriptures refer to when they talk about our understanding being quickened. I call these experiences “downloads.”  They happen so incredibly fast that I am forced to admit that my own physical cognitive abilities had virtually no part in them. It’s very hands-off, on my part. The Lord takes the reins and what he reveals to me is amazing in both quantity and quality.

For several years now, the things that I have learned about “gospel” and “non-gospel” topics, alike, have felt like one massive jigsaw puzzle with no borders. But that’s ok because I have found that the best puzzles are the most challenging ones. They mean the most to you when you are done. Discovering truth means the most because discovering truth is what makes you capable of obtaining the most happiness. It is the most challenging, yet most rewarding, puzzle of all.

“Thou Shalt” and “Thou Shalt Not”

The Lord said:

16...My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me.

17 If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself. (John 7)

“Thou shalt” and “thou shalt not” are interesting phrases. You can read them one of two ways. You can read them as directives (and plentiful examples of this use can be found, particularly, in the Old Testament where the Lord enumerates commandments to Moses, Aaron, Aaron’s sons, and the children of Israel) or you can read them as prophecy—a foretelling of things that will happen (for example, “...go thou to the sea, and cast an hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money: that take, and give unto them for me and thee.” (Matthew 17:27)

I used to read most of the “thou shalts” and “thou shalt nots” as directives that insinuated the slightest threat of punishment. I no longer see them that way.

More and more, when I read “thou shalt” and “thou shalt not,” I see prophecy based on one’s adherence to the gospel of Jesus Christ. This is especially true in my own personal walk with God and the commands that he gives directly to me. What, at first glance, looks like a directive turns out to be prophecy when I act in faith, trusting in the fact that the Lord will help me bring it pass.

When I obtain the most joy in this regard is when my nature changes and I can sense that I am a better person than I was previously. For example, the Lord says, “Thou shalt not kill.” Seems an easy enough commandment to obey. Most of us don’t go around killing each other. But in the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord equates anger and killing. He tells us that if you are angry with your brother, the consequence is the same. So, the issue isn’t your actions. The issue is your nature. And he can change your nature. And, when he does, a change in your actions is the natural result. If you allow him to change your nature, “thou shalt not kill.” See how that becomes prophecy? Read it again. It is no longer a directive. Your conformity to his command becomes a simple thing, though, I will say that arriving at the point where his directives to you become prophecy in every aspect of your life is often a tortuous process. But as you do arrive at that point, it’s almost as if God can say about the changes in you, “See? I told you that if you followed my gospel that you would become this kind of a person.” You get to the point where you don’t give gifts grudgingly—you don’t have to convince or motivate yourself to obey God’s word. This happens in more and more areas of your character. Your developing trust in Him and in the portion of his word that he has given you leads you to believe that he will continue to improve you until you trust in him completely.

We can know that Christ’s teachings are from the Father because they will change us. That change will be so obvious and so dramatic that there will be no way to doubt that an adherence to his teachings affected that change. Truly, if any man will do the Father’s will, he will know of the doctrine. 

Psalm 144

Scripture study this morning took me to Psalm 144. It might seem a little harsh at first, but the last four verses are, I think, what so many people want to see in our nation. We should ask ourselves how the first 11 verses are important in showing us what it takes to get there.

1 Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:

2 My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.

3 Lord, what is man, that thou takest knowledge of him! or the son of man, that thou makest account of him!

4 Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passeth away.

5 Bow thy heavens, O Lord, and come down: touch the mountains, and they shall smoke.

6 Cast forth lightning, and scatter them: shoot out thine arrows, and destroy them.

7 Send thine hand from above; rid me, and deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of strange children;

8 Whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood.

9 I will sing a new song unto thee, O God: upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee.

10 It is he that giveth salvation unto kings: who delivereth David his servant from the hurtful sword.

11 Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood:

12 That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:

13 That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store: that our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets:

14 That our oxen may be strong to labour; that there be no breaking in, nor going out; that there be no complaining in our streets.

15 Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord.

Mood

It’s difficult to watch something die. And the greater that something was in its prime, the harder it is to watch. It is the hardest to watch when you are aware of the potential that that something had, but wasn’t realized.

And yet God will do what he always does and take what is without form and void and organize it into a new creation that is good. Hope we can all keep up.