I have been extremely blessed to have many experiences within the realm of childbirth. My own experiences have been unusually numerous by themselves, but I have also attended and assisted several other mothers during their childbirth experiences. Each and all of these experiences have taught me so much that I could write several posts on several different topics—drawing upon the lessons I learned from them. This one is forcefully at the forefront of my thoughts this morning.
It has been remarkable to me that I have never witnessed a single laboring mother blame her husband for what she was presently going through. That stereotypical (but, bitter) “you-did-this-to-me” attitude? Yeah, I’ve never seen it. Not to say that it doesn’t happen. I just find it interesting that I haven’t seen it. But, then, I haven’t had many experiences in which the husband and wife weren’t at least fairly committed to each other, either. That’s important.
What I have seen, instead, is laboring mothers lean into their husbands as contractions come upon them, and, to be honest, I have found it beautifully fascinating that they do. The truth is that their husbands did “do this to them.” Not without consent, of course. The pleasurable sexual act that results in pregnancy is often a lot more enticing and appealing than the distant and painful experience of childbirth, and women who want to be mothers are willing to endure that suffering later for the blessing of having a baby. But it still—at some level—requires the woman to have a certain degree of trust in her husband to engage in that preliminary act, and it requires at least that degree of trust to rely upon him through the experience of childbirth and beyond.
I find it so beautiful that, while in labor and as waves of increasing pain come, a mother looks for, and turns to, the person who brought about her painful condition in the first place. She knows that no one else is as invested in what is happening to her at that moment than her husband is. She knows that no one cares more for her, or for the new life on its way, as he does. Even when there isn’t much her husband can do to alleviate the pain, the mother will reach for him to come closer and to support her. And he does. In her weakened condition, the mother will lean into her husband, and her husband will fully support her. His strength becomes her strength because of the relationship that has been built between them.
There is a reason why the husband-wife relationship is used as a metaphor for the Lord’s relationship with us. There are many, actually.
We shouldn’t expect our relationship with him to be a blissful bed of roses. Just as a sexual union leads to pregnancy and childbirth, so does our union with him lead to experiences full of suffering and affliction. We should understand that those experiences are a natural consequence of our relationship with him. We should expect them. We should anticipate them. We should see them as moments when we can lean into him, and feel his strength, and make it our own. And then we should rejoice with him when they are over.
In our suffering, why do we not rely upon the Lord as much as a laboring mother relies upon her husband? Is he not much more worthy of our trust? He is. He knows where our relationship with him will take us. He knows what we will endure when we bind ourselves to him. In his love for us, he has been made strong, and his strength is greater than our weakness. We have every reason to lean into him.