Resignation, n.
1. The act of resigning or giving up, as a crown or possession; as the resignation of a crown or commission.
2. Submission; unresisting acquiescence; as a blind submission to the authority of other men’s opinions.
3. Quiet submission to the will of Providence; submission without discontent, and with entire acquiescence in the divine dispensations. This is Christian resignation.
About a decade ago, I was sitting outside an LDS temple, looking up at the words “Holiness to the Lord—The House of the Lord” on the exterior of the building when the Lord asked me a question.
“If I asked you to give up your membership in the church, would you do that?”
For the next few seconds, my mind laid hold on every good thing I had learned and experienced as a result of my membership in the LDS church over the course of my life, both directly and indirectly. What started as a quick recollection and appreciation of all of those things, at one point, turned into an almost imperceptible feeling of adoration and devotion directed towards the LDS church. I caught myself feeling a tinge of sadness at the thought of leaving, and the realization of that sadness caused me to instantly snap out of those moments of remembrance. I felt remarkably stupid for not immediately answering the Lord with a whole-hearted “Yes, absolutely!”
I told him how my relationship with him was the most important thing in my life and how I would, of course, leave the LDS church if he ever asked me to.
Then, six and a half years ago, I spent several hours talking to my friend and bishop about beliefs I held that were not in line with the official doctrines of the LDS church. A decision he would make after that meeting would determine whether or not I would be allowed to stay in a teaching position in the church. I wasn’t worried about losing that position. I had already discussed with the Lord the possibility of him having me teach, in class, things that would not align with the organization and the consequences of that. He told me months before that meeting with my bishop that, when my time as a teacher in the church came to an end, I was to stop attending church so that I could stay at home and teach my children. And so, as I stood up to leave that meeting—knowing that my church attendance was very likely about to drop dramatically—I asked the Lord, “Should I just go ahead and turn in a letter of resignation?”
He sternly replied, “No.”
It wasn’t until much later that I came to understand the reasons why he told me not to resign at that time. There was purpose in it. However, that purpose eventually came to an end, and I officially resigned from the LDS church earlier this year. Not only had the reasons to stay in the church become moot, but I also found God placing inside of me a strong desire to disassociate myself from an organization that increasingly stands in opposition to what I understand about him.
As I read through the three definitions for “resignation” listed above, my heart and mind resonate the most with the third. In all of my life’s experiences, God has shown me how specific actions are “good” in certain circumstances and “bad” in others and how one’s “quiet submission” to his will at all times yields the best outcomes—the timing of my resignation not being an exception.